Just hooked myself up with gmail. I've seen it every now and then but i think i was intimidated by the technology. Just like it took me ages to open the blogger. But when i did what a world it opened up. To think there are thousands of people out there dealing with the same issue i am dealing with and i can access them, i mean i have access to their journals and how they see things and how they experience being alive. I have just finished going through shauna's archives, she has had a long journey fighting the fat, i think it's good though cause now it's her lifestyle, it's not a shock to her system. Having said that i wish i could do it faster, I am aiming at hitting less than 100kg by the end of the year and hope i can loose the rest(25kg) in 2008.
It's amazing that there is a world out there that i havent experienced and reading other people's stories encourages me to explore, like i know i want to see the world, i want my baby by my side as i do that. I want to sunbathe in the carribean beaches, see the pyramids, ride camels(couldnt dare impose my 100 and something body on that poor animal now), even ride horses. Talking about horses i remember i was in STD 5, i was like 12 and my aunt was working for this white family in town as a nanny/domestic helper, and they had ponnies, beatiful ponnys(how do you spell pony), anyway we visited them and everyone kept insisting i go on this pony. The kid my age was like "go ahead it wont break, it can carry up to 75kg" and i so refused cause i knew for a fact that at 12 i was over 75kg, i think i was 76kg. How did i know, my mom's a nurse and she had a scale. By the time i was in matric i was weighing 107kg. The scale was old granted but still compared to everyone else who stepped on it i was much bigger.
So my goal weight is 75kg, accroding to my BMI, i have been that light since i was twelve.